Honestly. I can't imagine myself hating another celebrity more than I do her. She became famous for being a drunken 19-year-old heiress to a hotel chain. Then she became more famous for having sex and having the foresight to film it. Not exactly the way I'd like to be remembered, and it seems Paris shares this same view.
Since this tape popped up on the internet a few years back, Paris has been scrambling for some other way to legitimize her fame. First we got The Simple Life; a boring expose' of idocy and being spoiled. People tuned in for it, not to see Paris Hilton be herself, but rather to see Paris Hilton, the meat. Afterall, there's nothing about Paris Hilton that is remotely interesting, and WE, as civilized human beings, know that the sole reason for her success is because of two things:
1. She's rich.
2. She's attractive (I use this word because, in my opinion, Paris Hilton is not hot.)
So sure, people tune into The Simple Life to see Paris Hilton look hot. And, surprise, she plays her role perfectly. The sad truth is, Paris knows why she's famous, yet she continues to bombard us with horrible attempts at mediocracy that fall so short, not even Eddie Murphy could attain them.
Next was House of Wax in which Paris Hilton pranced around the screen for 90 minutes, once again, looking hot. Sure, she acted, but anyone can act. Anyone can read from a script and run around looking scared. Hell, I do that all the time, for fun. Again, however, Paris Hilton attains the lowest level of mediocracy possible and we are once again cheated out of seeing what we really want: nudity.
Paris Hilton's latest attempt at legitimizing her fame is through music. Surely, because music is a realm in which no visual stimulation is required, Paris Hilton will fail at this endeavor, right?
Wrong!
iTunes - Pop Top 10
#8 - "Stars Are Blind" - Paris Hilton
Billboard Hot 100
#21 - "Stars Are Blind" - Paris Hilton
Billboard Pop 100 Airplay
#21 - "Stars Are Blind" - Paris Hilton
Launch! Top 10
#2 - "Stars Are Blind" - Paris Hilton
It was not until just recently that I came to the realization that my entire existence is meaningless. I mean, it has to be. It's one thing when radio stations play songs, they are sometimes financially obligated through the artist's record label to do so. However, it is an entirely different matter when people are actually listen to this nonsense! #8 on iTunes?? #2 on Luanch?? Is this really what our world has come to?
Honestly. 98% of the population can carry a tune. That doesn't mean they should have record deals! Real music is about emotion, expression, and creativity. "Stars are Blind" is prime example of what music should not be! While Paris Hilton sluts her way into a record deal, thousands of legitiamte, talented musicians are starving themselves waiting for the day to arrive when they can survive off of their artistry. Meanwhile, Paris Hilton abuses the industry, and for what? WHY? You're already famous! You're already rich! What more could you stand to gain from this?
My cousin's ringtone is "Stars Are Blind."
I am uterly distressed. Everything I know is a lie. It is apparent to me now that I am the only person in the world who actually dislikes Paris Hilton. If she can get to the top 30 on Billboard, then life is meaningless and I have been mistaken this whole time.
I will go die now...
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